New “5 Degree Fund” to seek investment opportunities in climate collapse
1 April 2025
Climate Bonds Initiative CEO Sean Kidney and SOAS Centre for Sustainable Finance Professor Ulrich Volz today announced they were exploring the setting up of a “5 Degree Investment Fund” that will focus on investments likely to boom as climate change gets severe.
Kidney said: “with world temperatures already up 1.5°C and the US in denial, it now looks like an average global temperature rises of up to 5° Celsius is possible. It’s time to think differently.”
“The initial ambition is for a $1 billion fund, but we expect it to grow very quickly. We think it’s much more likely we can get $100 billion for this than for helping emerging markets fight climate change.
The Fund will pursue opportunities with:
Personal cooling garments. “With many areas of the world expected to become unbearably hot outdoors, rapid growth can be expected in garments that store water and keep bodies cool at the same time, for example those used in the movie ‘Dune’. Heat survivalist fashion will be a huge growth sector”.
Small arms manufacturers. “With the expected collapse in civil order in many parts of the world, consumer demand for small arms is likely to skyrocket. We are also considering investments in body armour and drone manufacturers — anything ordinary citizens fleeing chaos can afford”.
Underwater salvage and dredging companies. “Under 5°C warming sea levels will rise rapidly. Florida in particular is expected to be a boom area for these companies, including diving for Mar-al-Lago memorabilia”.
Logistics companies suitable for human transportation. “Large scale movements of people are expected to become commonplace; companies that can efficiently facilitate that will be in high demand.”
Real Estate development opportunities in northern Canada and Siberia. “The thaw in relations between the US and Russia means we can go cross-Arctic. There will be some challenges in finding locations that can avoid what is expected to be a spectacular growth in methane sinkholes, but we’re confident there is enough mountain terrain to make this work. As the international order further collapses we also expect to see opportunities open up in Antarctica”
Volz said “the idea is that the Fund would be used as an opportunity for investors to hedge against the growing failure to take action on climate change. The climate catastrophe will create enormous opportunities for the discerning investor. We plan to be among those.”
However, he also noted that on current trajectories of climate change it may require greater ambition. “We are also considering launching an ‘Runaway Climate Change Fund’ which would invest primarily in ventures to escape into space and colonise other planets.”
Disclaimer: April Fools! This blog may have been written in jest, but the climate crisis is no joke. The world is already feeling the impacts of rising temperatures, and without urgent action, the consequences will be devastating. We need to mobilise investment for credible, ambitious, and immediate action in mitigation, adaptation, and resilience measures to preserve a livable future. Let's focus on financing solutions, not surrendering to worst-case scenarios.
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